Been sooooo long since the last time i write here.
Im not used to writing something, but right now is 22:21 and Im thinking about something, urging me to write.
So yeah, as the title above. Grasping the meaning of living. I am not in the position to give something couraging and in fact, this post is not intended to be a post of wisdom or kind of. This post, im wiritng here right now with the purpose to lightenen whats been on my chest lately, i dont know if it will work tho but at least i will try. Im not sure where to start.
So, lately, ive been thinking about the purpose of my life, not a purpose as in the goal or something. What i mean is more like why do i have to live? Apparently ive been thinking of why God place me in this world? Cause o cant see why no matter how hard i try. Its not like my existence holds important role in changing the world or something tho. Just why do i have to live? Just why do i have to be born? Dont get me wrong, its not like im not grateful for my parents especially my mom who did a really painful work bringing me into this world. Not that. Its just that im questioning my existence. Do i even needed here? Its not like the worlds gonna come to an end if i werent around tho. Everything will be just how it usually is even if im not around right?
I am questioning my whole life. Why should i be born? Why should i live a life that i didnt ask for in the first place? Why should i feel something so painful in this life while in fact i have never once asked to be brought here? Just why? it may sound like i dont want to live but trust me thats not the case. I am just curious about it. This kind of thoughts have been and will keep on lingering in my mind until i find answers for that, sure thing i havent found it now.
I love my parents, i have nothing but love to them. I am grateful for them seriuosly. Its just that i dont understand the concept of living itself. Why would one be born out of their consent and put through a journey so bizarre that they call living? Like, were we asked if we would be or would want to experience this jourmey? Cause i dont recall i said yes to it.
Or am i just being soooooo out of it? or am i going thourgh an existemce crisis? Am i living right? Am i walking on tthe right lane? Is everything that i believe was good is indeed good? Is it enough to just live correctly? How do i live correctly tho? Whtaever, ijust want to pur my thoughts out tho.
I know no one, or at lease people that i know, will ever read this post beside me thats why iwrite here. i wont be judged.
